When They Grow A Year Older

At the weekend, I celebrated my youngest and cheekiest Son's birthday. He turned 3. 

So much goes through my head every time the boy's age another year. Firstly, as their birthday nears, I feel such excitement at the thought of planning another family celebration and occasion. Plus, cake?! I get to use my organisational skills to the max here as I plan what to buy, what to do for their birthday, what we will need, what party food to get in. Lists are made months in advance and as time goes on, the excitement only grows. 

Until, it then dawns on me that my child will soon be another year older. Another year, they seem to fly past me quicker each time. I then examine my child when I know that this is an impending thing. They suddenly seemed to have had a growth spurt. They are no longer the small, cute baby that I held once so snuggly in my arms. They're kids. Growing faster than I can keep up with, kids. 

I look at the baby of the family. 3. He is also going through a transition currently that I can only explain is him morphing from the devil child of the terrible two's to a turd of a threenager. The attitude on him quite frankly stinks, already. 

But the love. Oh the love, it is huge. I find myself trying to stifle laughter as he answers me back. Since when did my baby become such a teenager?! I find myself thinking of his character, wondering if I have been a good enough parent. Wondering if he has enjoyed his life as much as I have so far. I feel utter pride at the thought of everything he has achieved, even though he is one of the cheekiest monkeys around. 

I then feel emotional and overwhelmed that soon he will be that little bit older, I realise that they are both growing quicker than I want them to and that I have to really hold on to all of these precious moments and memories and years. And boy, I will be. Holding on for dear life. I close my eyes and for a second I can see their rolls of baby goodness, their sweet toothless smiles and I can smell their baby smell. 

Whenever I hold someone else's baby, it takes me right back to the beginning. The beginning feels like yesterday and another lifetime ago all in one confusing emotion. Time has past. So much has happened, so much has been achieved and here we are, celebrating another birthday. With each one, the baby years seem to slip away from my grasp. 3. I'd say that is the last year of being a toddler. This does sadden me so much. I look at the pushchair in the cupboard, I realise it won't be long before that is no longer needed. My last 'baby' item. I can't even bare to part with that yet. Just like the baby blankets that have been shoved and forgotten in the airing cupboard. I want time to slow down, I wish the baby years had lasted longer. Now 3 years have passed since I had a newborn. 3 whole massive long short quick memorable breath taking family years. 

So many emotions are felt when the children age another year. Excitement, fear, sadness, pride but the one that sticks out more than anything is love. I feel so much love. From the second he was laid into my arms after he had been torn from my stomach, to right now- I see and feel so much love in him from myself and his family. 

How do you feel when it's your Child's turn to blow out yet another candle on the cake? 

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