C- Sections & The Easy Way Out; Awareness For April

I used to think having a cesarean was a hassle-free option, the easy way out. No pain from pushing, no tears, no trauma. It didn't help that phrases such as, "too posh to push" would circulate the internet or through word of mouth when certain celebrities came forward and admitted that was the way their children were brought into the world. 

I used to think so naively about the process, the after effects. In fact, I didn't do much thinking, I just went along with what everyone else said. How wrong and unfair could I have been?!

My opinion on c-sections have vastly changed now. I carry a view now that unless you have lived through something, such as a c-section, which is important and body/ life changing, then you should just be quiet about it. I hold that opinion because I had no idea, but I would tut at celebrities, or when someone I knew had one, I would feel sorry for them, not because of the pain but because there is this huge emphasis on giving birth 'naturally'. I was an idiot. 

The only reason I should feel sorry for a c-section mother, is because I know the pain she will endure. Every sneeze, every cough, every bit of laughing she does will hurt, it will tear and feel as if your stomach is about to rip open and burst. 

I know this pain. I lived through this pain. I'm sounding dramatic. But, I would like to, for c-section awareness month this April, to explain to you, very clearly;


Now I have made that quite clear and bold, I shall explain. 

My first labour was long and horrific, painful and a memory I rather try to forget. I ended up in theatre panicking that I was about to be cut open. Luckily, good old forceps and a cut did the trick. My Son had gotten stuck, but he was out with the help of some tools. The recovery was long as my stitches tore open after a week, but I dealt with it fairly fine, considering. 

It's safe to say, I was terrified of giving birth again with my second pregnancy. I had thyroid complications and was up and down to the hospital with consultant care. I voiced my concerns and begged for a c-section, I begged for the easy way out. But, do you know what they told me? 

"Having a caesarean isn't in your best interests. The recovery is horrible and sometimes complicated. Do it naturally, its better for you" 

So I tried, I tried my damn best this time. But my babies like to get stuck down the birth canal. So there I am, in theatre, that same consultant looking down on me, my son's heart rate accelerating, I can barely breathe because of my damn goitre. That consultant, the one that really didn't want to give me a c-section, he was stood at my feet, shoving my child back up inside me as he couldn't get the forceps to do the trick this time. For the safety of my baby, for myself, he then did what wasn't in my best interests. 

I was an hour in there. Staring at the ceiling, not breathing well because of other complications, losing a lot of blood because I got nipped on my insides. I lay there, wishing it all to go away. Wondering why me? Why again? Why couldn't I just give birth naturally? Why was I laying here like this? I couldn't hold my baby for an hour.... again! 

I ended up with 2 blood transfusions as I lost so much blood. I looked like death. There was no glowing post giving birth baby picture to be taken. I could barely hold my Son. I wasn't allowed to stand up for a day because of the amount of blood I had lost, through fear of me fainting. And when I did the next day? It was impossible. It's like my muscles had decided to stop working, thats right, because they had all just been sliced through. Layer after layer, and there are a lot of layers, had been sliced through and then put back together. And just like that, you are meant to not only stand up and walk about, but then to care for a newborn baby. 

Apparently, you aren't meant to hold anything heavier than your baby after a c-section. Days after mine, my toddler fell, I lifted him up, as any Mother would do instinctively. Every cough, every bit of laughter, every sneeze, every stair, was unimaginable pain coursing through my stomach. Let's not even mention the staples they then pulled out of my stomach days later. *Flinch* 

Of course, you get over it, you get stronger. I doubt I'll ever have a flat stomach again, but at least my c-section scar is below the bikini line. It's a scar I will carry around forever, to remind me of how my youngest entered the world. It's a mark of bravery. It's a mark that reminds me of a tough tough time of my life, considering 5 weeks later I had a thyroid op and similar scar on my throat, then 12 weeks later when the bleeding still hadn't ceased I ended up with a d and c as I still had products of conception left in me from the cesarean that just wasn't budging. 

The best reminder for me though, is that until we go through something, don't judge. C-sections are hard. It isn't the easy way out. I wished for a natural birth but I just didn't get one, with either boys really. But it doesn't make me any less of a mother. It makes me more, as I am so incredibly grateful for the health care we have in our NHS, that made it possible for me to be sat here writing this and for my Son's to be growing up into beautiful brilliant boys. 

You know the best bit? I would do it all again and one day I will. I highly doubt I will be able to do a natural birth, so, I'm taking "the easy way out". I'm terrified, but I know it is all worth it because I will become a Mother again, just like if someone was to push it out of their lady hole! We both win, we are both Mums. 

That is my story of my c-section experience. I hope it helps to raise awareness this April so that other people don't have to go through the same experiences, so that there is more help given for Mum's to avoid cesareans, or for those that wish to do VBAC. 

If you fancy it, then please do share the story of the not so easy way out, of my experience. Or if you've had a similar experience I'd love to hear from you; pop a comment below. 

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