The 14 Rules of a Food Fussy Toddler

My children can be so fussy with eating. Sometimes it really concerns me and other times it just gets quite annoying. Still, they are only young once and the only way to get through stages like this is to laugh it off. So, here are some rules my Tiny Toes have written;

1. When asked what you want be sure to ask for what you don't want. So, when the adults bring out the marmite triangle sandwiches you just asked for, you can get a kick out of screaming for the chocolate spread square sandwich. Then when they return with it, change your mind back again and demand to have the first thing you asked for.

2. One day make sure your preference for an apple is whole, next cored, next cut up. Then repeat and switch it up a bit. It's so fun to keep the adults guessing and see how mad they get on the days you wanted it whole and they already cored and chopped it up!

3. Ask for the crisps you usually love, start eating them. Check what the parents are having, fancy a try? Swap the bag- remember to ask nicely. Then when you realise they are too beefy or fiery, swap back when they've almost finished your pack. Cry when you realise this has happened. How dare they?!

4. Try ketchup on your plate. But if the parents contaminate some food with it refuse to eat it. You can only eat the food when you dunk it in yourself.

5. Demand food right as your parent starts cooking. Say you are so so hungry. Cry a little, until they give in and give you some carrot/ pepper/ rice cake to tie you over as dinner is a million years away. When dinner is served refuse to eat it for the service was unacceptable and took too long. Even though it is exactly. What. You. Asked. For.

6. Steal a siblings food. This is especially funny when your parent has run out of the food you've stolen. Plenty of tears and fun to be had.

7. Become a grazer; that way the adults never really know when you've finished eating or not. Lunch times are always the best time to do a bit of grazing.

8. When you're going through the weaning stage and right through up until the age of 2 and a bit, lure the adults into thinking you are a healthy baby who eats everything the adults do, from stew to shepherds pie. Let them tell all their friends boastfully about the broccoli and other fruits and vegetables you devour happily and how you prefer that to any junk food or chocolate. Then BAM go off this food suddenly, making your parents worry and feel ashamed that the only thing you will now eat is chicken dippers and chips. Actually, let's keep with the fruit, the natural sugars help with the hyper moments and it is rather yummy.

9. Raisins look like animal poo. Remember this when Mummy is about to have visitors and instead of eating them, spread them out nicely around the room. Also just do this with other food, it's always fun to watch Mummy get angry when the 100th sugar puff gets stuck to her sock. Don't they know food tastes better on the floor? That's why it's also fun to chuck your plate on the floor at all meal times.

10. Start the fussiness of food first thing in the morning. It's a good idea to let Mum know what kind of day she's about to have by demanding toast, yogurt, pancakes, cucumber etc etc and changing your mind. Let's leave about 3 uneaten breakfasts in the open and once she's given up and thrown them out or eaten them herself, tell her you're hungry.

11. Up until the age of about 3, don't eat anything called a sandwich. It's fine to eat bread and then say cheese seperately on a plate but if an adult combines these things it's definitely an unspoken rule not to eat a sandwich until you're about 3. Unless your adult's looks tasty. Give that a munch. And when you reach the sandwich age, I suggest marmite or chocolate spread. 

12. Basically I'm going to suggest the beige toddler pallet for you all. This includes things like turkey dinosaurs, chicken nuggets, chips, pizza. Basically all the things you heard your Mum swear she'd never feed you. These are now your favourites, my friend. That shepherds pie? Say it looks like poo. Hurt Mummy's feelings so from this day on they know beige is the way to go. Sometimes green is the way to go though, so sometimes it's good to refuse the nuggets, just eat some carrots and cucumber and get their hopes up that maybe the beige has come and gone. But it's not, we just like to be fussy.

13. Always say yes to chocolate and sweets. Us kiddies have a sixth sense that some is around. It's a brilliant talent. These are perfect in the late afternoon or for a desert, because it basically means we are never going to bed on time.

14. When you're out for a meal, well how do I put this.... Unless it's Pizza Hut, make sure you leave with your parents muttering the words "We are never taking you out for dinner again."

Are your children fussy eaters? What annoying habits do they have? Or do you have any tips and tricks to get them to eat better? Pop a comment below, I'd love to hear from you. 

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