The 16 Rules Of A Threenager

Here are the rules I must abide by, as told by my 3 and a bit year old aka the threenager of the household. 

1. Always get my younger bother and myself the same treats. We wouldn't want jealousy would we?!

2. Always get us and myself different treats. We like variation. Just because we are brothers doesn't mean we're into the same things. 

3. Have Netflix or my Bing DVD on within 30 seconds of me asking or I will wake at least 3 times tonight. 

4. Have the potty ready when I need it and where I would like it. We wouldn't want an accident, would we? 

5. Don't let my younger brother near me, especially when I have something I clearly don't want to share. I don't really like sharing my good stuff. 

6. Make sure that my sibling shares his good stuff. Otherwise that's called favouritism. He needs to learn to share. 

7. Just leave us alone when we are having a hyper 10 minutes. We have energy to burn and fun to be had wrestling each other until someone cries, we don't need you standing in our way. 

8. Don't dance or sing unless I am in a good mood and permit these things. 

9. I want my food in the next 5 minutes and I want it on the big table no where near my brother. We've already gone over why, Mum! 

10. Dont mess up my food order. When I say plain toast you know what I mean; plain slice of bread straight out of the packet, coming right up.

11. You must magically know when my preference between triangles/rectangles and squares for my toast and sandwiches change. Also, don't forget I like my cucumber and carrots cut differently from time to time. Don't get it wrong and waste the food, Mum. There are starving children out there. 

12. Never serve me dirty or broken food. It is a criminal offence. I know when you've 'wiped' dirty sauce off or attempted to fix the murder scene on the plate. Do not insult me- think about those starving children or give it to my brother, if you like. Just be warned that I am currently training him to learn my rules. 

13. Remember which plate belongs to which time of the day. Get it wrong and the living room floor gets it. You'll be sorry you served me all those peas on the wrong plate. 

14. I'm a big boy now. Don't help me get dressed. 

15. Mummy, you better come here and pull these trousers up when I say so. 

16. Don't ever lie to Grandma. We know I've been an angel, especially against my brother. I deserve those sweets and magazines. If we're spilling secrets, I'll tell Daddy what you called him the other day.... 

Yes, life is confusing. I would like to point out that my 3 year old remains my easy child. He's just a bit demanding. Still, I love him lots all the same. 

What demands does your 3 year old have? Have you any to add to the list? Pop a comment below, I'd love to hear from you.