Children Have The Best Timing (Or Not)

There is a lot of good things that come with having children. From having some gorgeous tight cuddles and kisses to being able to finish off their turkey dinosaurs; there are definitely perks to being a parent. Children have a lot of pros and cons; they can be the most loving people in your life but also be the ones that may just throw a toy at your head from frustration. Do you know what else children have? The best timing. Let's list some examples of their logic and brilliant timings below;

1. Picture the scene, I had just taken my toilet training tot to the public toilet in Marks and Spencers. I was feeling super proud that he had told me that he needed the toilet, anyway, I decided whilst I was in there, I would just go for a quick wee. Little man, on the other hand, had other ideas. Mid flow, he decides to unlock and open the toilet door quicker than you can say; "Don't you dare...." Every time I need the toilet in public it's like playing a game of, "Do I dare?" Do I dare go to the toilet, knowing full well they will have enough of waiting and unlock the door? Do I dare flash my bits to a queue of strangers? Or do I dare to just wee myself instead? Oh, the choices! Now I have to distract them with all of my might from reaching up and touching the handle. It's not fun. It's not good timing at all. 

2. Having the worst screaming fits right when you reach an important part of a phone call. Sometimes I have missed advice from doctors on the phone because a meltdown over a lost toy could not just wait 5 more seconds. They can be quiet and peaceful right up until you pick that phone up. 

3. Dinner time can be hit or miss. Some nights we are successful in healthily feeding our off spring, other nights, not so much. The ridiculous logic of a child will be to time asking for a snack about 10 seconds after their food is thrown in the bin. Because they are starving. Or, they ask for their dinner back when it is just too damn late. 

4. Another public toilet one here, (sorry). I just love it when they ask me really loudly, right when the toilets are at their busiest why I am wearing a nappy, (a pad) or why I am putting a marshmallow up my bum. Or even better, asking what I am doing- "a wee or a stinky poop?!"

5. My youngest can spend the whole morning being peaceful, calm, kind and have gentle hands. As soon as a play date turns up, he turns into spawn of the devil. Why? Why?! Why can't he just show other people that he actually can be a gorgeous, kind and caring child? Instead of screaming at others and snatching his toys back! 

6. My youngest also has a habit of being the most chilled, content, independent soul when I have no rush in the morning. I'll have time on my hands, be getting dressed and ready slowly and he will be happy. The mornings I have a deadline and places to be at certain times, or people coming round he will be the clingiest child ever. It will be one of those mornings where he will cry if I go for a wee so he has to hold my arm whilst I am sat there. He cries because he wants to go downstairs and play but then he cries because I am not ready to head down with him. I can't win. Why he can't be in these moods when I have no pressure, I don't know? 


7. It feels like every time I sit down comfortably after doing never ending washing and cleaning, my boys then need something. They couldn't have possibly asked for a snack whilst I was stood in the kitchen? Nope. They have to ask me as I've curled up into the most comfortable position on the sofa. 

8. Needing the toilet right when you need the toilet- or even better needing the smelliest poop as you are enjoying an indulgent lush bath. It sort of spoils the aromas the bath has to offer, funnily enough. Although toilet training is going pretty well, my youngest has a habit of wetting himself on the day I have done laundry or spilling things down him. We can go through so many outfit changes in a day, it's unreal! 

9. There's play fighting and then there's proper fighting. When I'm around they play fight and it's sort of cute. When I'm about to get on with dinner they proper fight. Argh. This is why we have such quick recipes these days. 

10. Asking philosophical questions at bedtime. And they're such intelligent questions to ask that you feel bad to ignore them and tell them to go to sleep. So they sneakily stay up late because they've asked what happens if you die, or "Do you and Daddy go downstairs when we sleep?" All of these need careful answers. You can't rush them.  

The best part of a childs timing or logic, is just when you are about to pull your hair out and pour yourself a large stiff drink because they have been driving you insane, they then go and tell you just how much they love you and how beautiful you are. 

Does your child have bad timing too? Pop a comment below, I would love to hear from you. 



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