Bath Time Battleground

Whenever I mention bath time to the boys, they go mental. And not a good mental. While one would be OK with the idea of bath time, the older one kicks up a fuss and the younger one copies. It is frustrating. We now alternate evenings between a wet wash and a bath, they celebrate wet wash evenings and turn into devils for bath time. We go through many stages of bath time each evening, here's what happens on the battleground; 

1. The mere mention. Picture the scene; there is a Daddy who is frantically hoovering, pushing any toys that is in his path out of the way, a Mummy who is rushing to wash and dry the dishes and then there are two little boys. These two boys may be little but they have BIG energy and they are tearing the place up; every folded peice of clothing gets launched through the air, every toy in the chest gets emptied out again. Then the parents use every bit of the energy they have left from the day to somehow make the place seem habitable again. So, once this is done and before it can get ruined again, they yell; "BATH AND BEDTIMEEEEE". The children shiver with fear and their eyes fill with rage, then they form an alliance. 

2. Herding them up. This can be a challenge, particularly if they have recently had even a sniff of sugar. They seem to dart off in different directions, or go into hiding. But, soon they they are herded and head up the stairs. 

3. Getting the temperature right. This is one of the most frustrating parts of bath time. I don't know how you all do it, but I start with the hot then add the cold until it is just right. I hate those nights that you turn the tap on, you deal with an explosive nappy so the water is boiling, so you pop the cold on, then you find them creating havoc, then before you know it you go back to the bath and it is freezing cold. They end up with some pretty deep baths some nights, trying to get the temperature right. It's ok though, fear not for their safety as they usually use their bath stacking cups to pour water all over my floor so their bath isn't deep after about 10 seconds into it. 

4. Bubbles vs. No bubbles. I like to do bubbles when it isn't a hair wash night and no bubbles when it is hair wash night, I don't know why, thats just how I do it. It's more of a battle and a problem when once child wants them and the other doesn't. 

5. Finding the children to strip them. This is a quest, a secret quest and it is better to creep up on them by surprise, strip them in super fast speed and launch them into the bath tub before they even know what has hit them. The trouble comes when you have stripped the two year old, so go to find the four year old to strip them, then you forget that the two year old is not potty trained. That's right, you've now found a nice puddle of pee pee right next to your bed, just thank goodness it has never happened whilst bouncing on anybody's bed. 

6. Hair wash. So, they are in. So far we deserve a medal and one large scoop of ice cream. The alcohol is only deserving after this next step. The hair wash. This is literally torture for a child. I have no idea why. I can not even begin to put into words how this goes down in our house. Let's just say there is a lot of screaming, so much so, you fear the neighbours might think you are actually indeed torturing the child, a lot of water goes everywhere and sometimes it's some very uneven hair washing. It's times like these I wonder that if the moment was being recorded it would make a brilliant contraception video for teenagers. Alas, we have tried a cap to stop it going in their eyes, we have tried a flannel over their eyes, we have tried going as slow as possible so now the only way forward is doing it as quickly as possible and sometimes springing surprises again. 

7. Flannel/ Tipping Cups. Worst things to be in the bath ever. Your bathroom floor will be a wet room by the end of it thanks to your washing equipment and these bath toys. The best thing is to strike early sometimes, wash them then hide the flannel, they pour once, then ban the cups. 

8. Refusing to exit the bath. Funnily enough, there is a sharp turn of events and suddenly the kids love bath time. So much so, that they realise the water has been drained and they start to cry because they really really don't want to get out. There is usually a fight over who has to leave first between them.

9. Getting dressed. This is another battle of trying to find and dress the ninja in the nude. Once you finally get them, there is usually an argument over the fact that they don't want you, or their Father getting them dressed, they want the other one. Eyes roll now as the parents wish for their own bedtime. 

10. Tidying up. This is one task I usually dread. I get the children all dressed and ready, I get tired, I get sleepy and I sulk off to the bathroom as sometimes showering does feel like a chore when you're that drained. I open the door, then boom. I forgot. I forgot how much mess children make when they have a bath. It really is a bath time battle ground. 

What is bath time like in your household? Does your children enjoy hair washes? Pop a comment below, I'd love to hear from you. 


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