Lies I've Told My Children

Children can be complex creatures. They can be really, really hard work. They can freak out if you even give them the wrong cup or plate at the wrong time of the day. Sometimes it feels as if you have to tread on eggshells so that you don't cause a volcano of a temper tantrum to erupt, spilling all over your good day and causing one of those throbbing headaches which does not seem to go away until the kids are tightly tucked up in bed. 

That's why I have a theory, that theory is that sometimes, just sometimes lying is good. Lying to your children can be like a magic eraser, concealing anything bad that might upset the children, bribing them to do something for their own good. It's a brilliant parenting tactic, as horrible as it is, but exaggerating or scare- mongering and lying to get results is at times neccessary. I decided to think about what I've lied to my children about, here's a list: 

1) If you don't brush your teeth, they will go black and fall out. 

I know this is slightly true, but perhaps I put a more dramatic spin on it than needs to be. I went into great detail once about a boy I met in hospital without teeth, this event never happened. Zac is now eager and super keen for teeth brushing time. He gets in a panic if he thinks we have forgotten to do it. 

2) If you don't wear your new shoes instead of your old ones, your toes will get squashed and bleed.  

He quickly put his old ones back and grabbed his new pair. Don't judge the bad parenting here, they cost £45!! His old ones were too small for him too, so they would have gotten uncomfortable. 

3) No, sorry the park is shut today *Pretends to push the gate open without allowing it to actually open*

I was on a walk with the boys, but I was in a hurry to get back home to put dinner on, so when we walked past the park and Zac asked to go in and have a play, I had to use some quick thinking. 

4)  Mummy and Daddy go straight to bed and to sleep when you do, so you're not missing out on anything.

This one does make me feel guilty, but the kids don't realise how precious Netflix, some chocolate and some peace and quiet is. Plus, what they don't know, can't hurt. Until they see the empty wrappers in the morning.... I just tell myself that they will understand when they have kids themselves one day. 

5) Oh, that chocolate bar, yeah it went off. Sorry. 

It's bad for them to eat too much chocolate right? I did help their Easter stash out, yes. Yes, I felt guilty for a bit but let's refer back to point one.... I did it for the sake of their teeth and hyper moods. 

6) You'll get square eyes if you stand too close to the TV. 

This is a classic one that is passed down the generations. 

7)This isn't calpol, this is strawberry juice. 

It's the only way I can get the two year old to have it when he's poorly. 

8) Here, have your sweetie for the day. 

In this case, the sweetie is a multivitamin for the three year old. 

9) Oh, that toy, it's being fixed. Remember it broke? Well I sent it away to be fixed. 

I usually do try to fix the toys, but some really do need to RIP in toy heaven. I don't feel the boys are ready to handle this truth yet, so I just tell them it's being fixed and usually they forget about it. Usually.... 

10) The Playstation is broken. See *pushes buttons* It's just not turning on. Perhaps Daddy will have a look at it later. 

This one usually gets told when I have had enough of the same show on Netflix. Once they are hooked on something it is watched over and over. Also, because I genuinely don't want the Playstation to break, I have to limit its use. So, in order to do this, I slyly click the button on the back of the Playstation- the boys have no idea it's there. No matter how many times I press the remote or press the button at the front it will not turn on then. Most days I'll say that's enough but on the days they are emotionally unstable I have to turn to this method. 

See, hardly any of these are traumatising or going to cause the children harm as they grow up. Some they will soon see right through, especially when I'm hiding in the kitchen eating the last of some chocolate, or when they realise coke doesn't taste disgusting and it's actually rather nice. Still, for now, I shall be using these little white lies to my parenting advantage. 

Do you find yourself telling some innocent fibs to your children? What do you tend to lie about? Pop a comment below, I'd love to hear from you. 

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